Mourning an Abusive Relationship

Mourning the death of a relationship can be especially difficult when colored by a history of physical or emotional abuse. 

Whether the abuse stemmed from addiction, abandonment, mental illness, dementia or any number of other causes, it can complicate the grief process ~ unless and until it is examined, processed, understood and overcome.

Please find below links to resources that may help you in your grief journey. 

A Guide to Ending Dating Violence Against Women 
– from Safe Harbor House.

Abusive Parents: The Debt – Article by Emily Yoffe

Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive – from What’s Your Grief?

Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive (Part 2) – from What’s Your Grief?

Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief – Book by Pauline Boss

An Accidental Witness: Photographer Captures Domestic Violence on Film – Article by Kathleen Chlohessy

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life – Book by Cloud and Townsend

Breaking the Ruhls: A Memoir – Book by Larry Ruhl

Complex and Difficult Endings – A List of Useful Links

Complicated Grief: Mourning An Abusive Mother – Article by Marty Tousley

Death That Brings Relief – A List of Links from Grief Healing

Death Wish: Dealing with a Negative, High-Maintenance, Aging Parent – Article by Mark Goulston

Domestic Abuse Is Not Just About Beefy, Steroidal, Entitled, Misogynistic Football Players Having a Bad Day – Article by Beleruth Naparstek

Domestic Abuse: Warning Signs of Domestic Violence – via Web MD

Domestic Violence and Abuse Help Guide – via HelpGuide.org

Domestic Violence and Addiction Guide – via Detox Local

Domestic Violence and Addiction: Two Conditions That Breed Shame, Secrecy and Silence – Article by Beleruth Naparstek

Domestic Violence and Substance Abuse Resources and Help – via Recovery Village

Essential Survival Guide for Victims of Domestic Abuse – Article by Michael James

Exit Tactics: How to Safely Skip Out on Your Abuser – Article by Belleruth Naperstek

Grief and Loss After Abuse – Article from Women’s Resource Service

Grief and Loss Due to Death from Alcoholism or Alcohol-Related Problems – Al-Anon/Alateen Family Groups Web Page

Grieving After Your Abusive Relationship – Article by Jeanne King, PhD

Grieving Someone You Didn’t Like (Because It Happens) – Article from What’s Your Grief?

Grieving the Difficult Relationship – Article by Jill Fitzgerald at Hello Grief

Heartbreak, Abandonment and Betrayal – Guided Imagery CD or MP3 by Belleruth Naparstek

He’s Dead, But He’s No Saint – Article by Robyn Woodman

Hopeline from Verizon – Connecting Survivors of Domestic Violence to Vital Resources

How Cancer Killed My Father and Our Already Failing Relationship – Article by Neil Pearson

How to Know When (and How) to Ask for Help – Article by Connor Kozlov

How to Leave Your Abuser And Still Stay Safe – Article by Belleruth Naparstek

How to Support a Friend After Sexual Assault – Article from Option B and Joyful Heart Foundation

I Couldn’t Fix You – A daughter laments her mother’s addiction death

Identifying a Connection Between Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence – Article from RehabCenter.net

Intimate Partner Sexual Violence: A Multidisciplinary Guide to Improving Services and Support for Survivors of Rape and Abuse – Book edited by  Louise MC-Ormond-Plummer et al.

Is Anger One of the Stages of Grief? – Article by Marty Tousley

Is She Asking the Wrong Question And Exactly How Scary Is This Husband? by Belleruth Naparstek

It’s Complicated by John Polo

Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships: A Meditation by Traci Stein

Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief – Book by Jennifer Elison and Chris Mcgonigle

Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work With Ambiguous Loss – Book by Pauline Boss

Losses of Leaving An Abusive Relationship – Article by Irene Matiatos

Mother Loss and the Grief of Abandonment – Article by Marty Tousley

My Alcoholic Father Made My Life Hell. Now We’re Estranged – How Can I Keep It That Way? – Article by Dr. Petra Boynton

Rebuilding Your Finances After Financial Abuse – Article by Madison Blancaflor

Since Nobody’s Perfect, May We Speak Ill Of The Dead? – Article by Greg Adams

Symbolic Loss of an Alcoholic Father – Article by Trish Williams

Take Ownership of What You’ve Discovered – Article by Rebecca Soffer

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly – Article by Brittany Cole at Hello Grief

The Grief That Dare Not Speak Its Name – Article by Sandra Bloom, MD

The Lingering Trauma of Childhood Abuse – Article by Susanne Babble

Tips on Staying Safe After Leaving Your Abuser – Article by Belleruth Naparstek

Tough Transitions: Navigating Your Way through Difficult Times – Book by Elizabeth Harper Neeld, PhD

Twice Broken: My Journey to Wholeness – Book by Kathleen Serenko

What Do You Do When Death Is A Relief? – Article by Ben Michaelis, PhD

What If The Deceased Is Despised? – Article by Larry Patten

What Is Complicated Grief? – Article by Marty Tousley

What It’s Like to Grieve A Parent You Didn’t Like – Article by Catherine Pearson

What’s In A Preposition? Grammar for Grieving – Article by Karen Kaplan

When A Parent Dies – Article by Mark Liebenow

When An Alcoholic or Addict Dies – Article by Buddy T at About.com Alcoholism

When People Aren’t Exceptions – Article by Peggy Haymes

When Your Dearly Departed Loved One May Not Be So Lovely – Article by Larry Patten

Why People Stay In Abusive Relationships – Article by Craig Malkin, PhD